While the hubs spent time getting paperwork in order I took the kids to the aquarium. It was nice. I have to use the GPS to find my way across the street but it was a fun outing. We visited the one in Pine Knoll and they had a live owl presentation today. They have a fair amount of touchable sea life as well which is always fun. We also go to be crabby- literally. Not a bad way to spend the day 🙂
So my husband’s dad recently passed away. He seems to be holding up well and many have sent their best wishes and prayers. We appreciate it, believe me we do. Funny thing is even though everyone is doing incredibly well grief has a its unique way of presenting itself to each individual.
My husband grieved prior as my father in law’s health declined. It’s almost as if the final event was the last show and the previous months were simply a dress rehearsal. My kids are doing well but I’m sure the funeral will be when things really hit home for them. Me on the other hand…I’m doing great until I’m not. I’m sure some of it has to do with my season of life (hello to all you who know what I’m talking about!)
Anyway, here is my list of why grief is dumb (tongue in cheek people)
- Nobody knows what your grief process will be like – not even you
- It doesn’t show on the outside and because of that everyone assumes you are perfectly fine
- You have to do your regular stuff when you don’t feel like it – that pretty much applies to just about everything though doesn’t it?
- It comes at odd moments, at least for me it does.
- Kinda the same thing as 4 but you never really can tell when you are “done”
Time really does heal
God is our comforter He’s available any time and at all times.
It brings those who grieve closer. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to gain a miracle
To Everything There is a Season
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3
Sunday afternoon my youngest was begging me to make lip balm with her. If you know our Sunday schedule then you probably also know that I was much more inclined to take a nap than craft. She had been eye balling the lip balm kits at Walmart for a while. (Don’t you just love how they put all those things down the CENTER aisle? ) I refuse to buy her the kit as I already have the ingredients at home. I just lacked the motivation! She was undeterred and insisted on knowing my recipe. I mumbled off the basic ingredients and general process – double boiler is a must! I was amused to see her jotting down notes in her mini notebook. How cute.
Next day… I come in from a walk and she presents me with my very own tube of her homemade chapstick. Yes, I’m a proud mommy! She made 6 total and they are pretty good quality too. That shea butter really helps moisturize.
Passing on the DIY life to the next generation; )
I made a few goals for myself recently. I was unhappy being in a repetitive and habitual routine and wanted to change that. I’d like to share a few with you all but a funny thing happens when I just put it out there. My goals evaporate. Weird. So I’m just going to have to live my goals and let you figure out what they might be 😉
I’m thankful God gives us life in 24 hour installments. Each sunrise is an opportunity to start fresh. His mercies are new every morning. Today is a new day. It’s the first day of the rest of your life. You get the picture. I’m not getting any younger and I want to LIVE not just fill the time. Whatever your Monday brings you I hope you are enjoying the gift of one more day.
This morning I went on a walk. There is a fairly quiet loop that is about 2.5 miles that I can just go straight out the door and begin. It’s a great way to get out and moving. I am trying to make a concentrated effort at self care lately. It’s awkward to be 36 and just learning these things but here we are.
Anyhow, I fell asleep and left my phone in my purse so I had no music to walk to. I am too cheap to buy something to play music when my phone works just as well so I set out with empty pockets and nothing but the sounds of the world around me. To be honest, I did take my mace. I am not paranoid or afraid of being attacked, in fact I would feel sorry for the attacker…I have horrible (excellent?) reflexes when I’m startled. There is a cocker spaniel on the corner that likes to pretend she is going to rip my leg off. She hasn’t yet but I like to be prepared in case she decided to maim me. Ironically, said spaniel also shares a name with my daughter…
As I was walking I just wanted to be as alive as possible. Sometimes it’s good to move on the inside as well as the out. I began to sing as I walked. I hope my neighbors don’t think I’m totally crazy. There is something freeing about singing outdoors and often when I practiced for a recital I would go outside and walk as I sang. I could open up more when it was just the sky above for an audience.
We used to help in my grandparents’ hay field as teens and my favorite time was when the bales were being loaded. Often my sister and I were the only ones in the huge open expanse as the boys went with the full truckload to the barn. We would roll the bales into small stacks of 3-4 so the boys on the truck could make fewer stops to collect. Occasionally we would buck bales too but I could never get much higher than the tail gate with a 50 pounder. My sister was pretty impressive though- but she also did shotput in high school. While the truck was being unloaded I made like Maria in the Sound of Music and enjoyed being as loud as physically possible. I was far enough away from my sister that she couldn’t deck me so that was good.
Recently I had a frustrating day and I just wanted to march myself into our back field and to sing. We had horse boarders at the time and they were having a rodeo lesson. We had a college rodeo students hanging out at the round pen. I stomped back in and my husband was confused. “Back already?” I explained that my song therapy only works if I am (more or less) alone. So if you see a lady walking on the side of the road singing to herself please just wave and go on by. She most likely is not very crazy and harmless- except for the mace.
We (the hubs and I) have been a part of the bus ministry in our church for a few years now. It is a labor of love. There have been times when I felt it was a waste of gas and times when I felt I was winning the world.
Anyhow, a couple of Sundays ago we had a fun surprise planned and here’s what it looks like:
Basically, we work for smiles 🙂
Not very good photos (selfies weren’t a thing back then) but this was our mission trip to Mexico. (I’m the one in blue at the Tortlleria)
I loved this trip. We saw so many people that were hungry for hope. And they looked to us to provide it. To them we were all prosperous Americans. Whenever I get discouraged about things that are less than perfect in my life I think to this trip and how so many people would love to trade me places.
I remember one particular outing when one of the chaperones took a baby wipe and cleaned the face of a little boy. He was about 3 or 4 and he was mesmerized with this magic little cloth. We were at the “tar paper city” where the word house referred to any type of shelter that was cobbled together with refuse. The chaperone tried to throw the dirty baby wipe away but the little boy clung to his now filthy wipe still in awe of its magic ability to clean without water.
Another side trip took us to the mountains. We were guests in a small home and our meal was served with extreme pride. A tablespoon of watery beans and a palm sized tortilla made the meal. After dinner we got a small cup of coffee that you could see through. Some were put off by the meal but it would have been rude to refuse such hospitality. After we had left we were told this family most likely had saved up food all week to feed our group. Talk about humbling.
I took this picture one day in early spring. It was a quick kid photo shoot so I could update our pictures. Often we fail to get our own family pictures done (yes, my husband is a photographer) so I fill in the blanks with my own shots.
As I go back through photos this one always stands out to me. My little girl peeks out at me and I see the woman she will become. It is both a proud and frightening moment frozen in time. If I can do anything good for this gift of a child I hope to give her what I did not have. I pray she is confident in herself and wise in her choices and that she puts God at the center of her life.
I know the time will come soon enough when the things I have taught her will have to stand on their own. She will decide the direction of her life. But for now I hope that the time I have with her will stand still just a little bit longer.
We had a girls day planned for months now. The snow was behaving itself for once and my two sweet girlfriends made the trek over the mountains to see me. These ladies mean the world to me. We grew up together. We have seen the worst in one another and came out friends every time. We have accepted our flaws and shortcomings and embraced the good in one another. We have laughed so hard we cried.(or as in my case, snorted) We whole heartedly agree on many things but you could not find 3 more different people. November is a time to reflect on what we are thankful for. These two are at the top of my list.