This morning I went on a walk. There is a fairly quiet loop that is about 2.5 miles that I can just go straight out the door and begin. It’s a great way to get out and moving. I am trying to make a concentrated effort at self care lately. It’s awkward to be 36 and just learning these things but here we are.
Anyhow, I fell asleep and left my phone in my purse so I had no music to walk to. I am too cheap to buy something to play music when my phone works just as well so I set out with empty pockets and nothing but the sounds of the world around me. To be honest, I did take my mace. I am not paranoid or afraid of being attacked, in fact I would feel sorry for the attacker…I have horrible (excellent?) reflexes when I’m startled. There is a cocker spaniel on the corner that likes to pretend she is going to rip my leg off. She hasn’t yet but I like to be prepared in case she decided to maim me. Ironically, said spaniel also shares a name with my daughter…
As I was walking I just wanted to be as alive as possible. Sometimes it’s good to move on the inside as well as the out. I began to sing as I walked. I hope my neighbors don’t think I’m totally crazy. There is something freeing about singing outdoors and often when I practiced for a recital I would go outside and walk as I sang. I could open up more when it was just the sky above for an audience.
We used to help in my grandparents’ hay field as teens and my favorite time was when the bales were being loaded. Often my sister and I were the only ones in the huge open expanse as the boys went with the full truckload to the barn. We would roll the bales into small stacks of 3-4 so the boys on the truck could make fewer stops to collect. Occasionally we would buck bales too but I could never get much higher than the tail gate with a 50 pounder. My sister was pretty impressive though- but she also did shotput in high school. While the truck was being unloaded I made like Maria in the Sound of Music and enjoyed being as loud as physically possible. I was far enough away from my sister that she couldn’t deck me so that was good.
Recently I had a frustrating day and I just wanted to march myself into our back field and to sing. We had horse boarders at the time and they were having a rodeo lesson. We had a college rodeo students hanging out at the round pen. I stomped back in and my husband was confused. “Back already?” I explained that my song therapy only works if I am (more or less) alone. So if you see a lady walking on the side of the road singing to herself please just wave and go on by. She most likely is not very crazy and harmless- except for the mace.