Being Mama, Get Happy!, Health

Are You There Self?

Internal locus of control or external locus of control… that is the question. (a.k.a. are you motivated by outside influences or your own drive) I once wrote a college paper on this subject and was completely anxiety riddled at the amount of research and the new (to me) format that I was required to learn in a very short time frame. I had written only a couple of 10 page papers in high school that were always essay style. My first college paper was a 15 pager in APA format that I had never encountered before. It was a hurdle to be sure. I did piles of research and yes, my outline was 100% essay but when I sat down to actually write I cranked it out in 2 days more or less ( in between other classes). I have never been more proud of an A before. And I still wonder how much I actually understood what I wrote. 🙄

Today the question still pops up in my mind. What motivates me? What is driving the machine that is me? Do I allow whatever others think to cause me to act? Am I operating in my own best interest? And the greater question still, am I living in a way that is motivated by a love for God?

I am by nature curious and introspective. I want to live my best life – all the way. So, I am always thinking about my current methods and what does and doesn’t work to achieve that. Recently I went through a very dark time. I wouldn’t say I was depressed but I had certainly been leaning that way. My body was sapped. I had allowed my lack of personal boundaries and self care to deteriorate me to the point that I was in a horrible state of mind mentally and constantly fatigued. I felt like I was living only to fill others needs. I slept a LOT. As in, if it wasn’t necessary I did not leave my bed. I still loved my family and helping others but my body quit giving and I was flat out tired of other people’s needs ALWAYS being first. To make matters worse, I often found out that those who alway seemed to need something could have very easily completed the task without me. I needed to find my value. I needed to care about me.

Selfish? No, I just needed myself. Everyone else had gotten my help but there was precious little coming back my direction. Something had to change.

And so I did the unthinkable. I quit giving. I stopped being available. I said no. Did I like it? No, it killed me to turn people down. I wanted to go to every birthday and donate at every fundraiser and volunteer at every function. But I began to set limits. Right away my family balked. How dare I not take them here, or fetch this or make that! What a horrible person I was for allowing them to suffer natural consequences as a result of their own thoughtlessness! How selfish of me to make room for my needs in the family budget!

And the horror continued….I stepped back at work, I requested help for seemingly simple things, I relaxed, I rested, I began to heal. I got a lot of questioning glances and a few persistent requests until I finally just said I’m not available all year. I had hung the do not disturb sign over my face and I began the task of rebuilding my health and sanity. And you know what? Everyone survived without me.

My husband is the opposite of me in so many ways. But we both are driven from the inside. His motor runs quite a bit slower than mine but when we are focused on what is important to us it WILL be accomplished. I love that we are both doers. But I had to reestablish my boundary lines even in our marriage. I had to be more careful with myself. In every relationship I drew lines. Some just got the axe all together. I’m not investing where there are no returns. Sorry, it’s nothing personal, I just don’t have the physical energy or the head space for it. After the hormonal tornado that I’ve been through I can see how people can “snap”. Good people, under too much pressure. Too many outside ideas and needs pushing out the person inside.

Recently I had an opportunity to test how firm my boundaries were. I was dumped into a situation and called the offender out. A highly volatile offender to boot. Did I bend? No, I didn’t. I was actually kind of proud of myself. I stood up for me. I valued my time and my rest. I was not going to be forced into doing another person’s duty simply because they wanted me to. Nope, not anymore.

Don’t get me wrong. I want to help. I want to be a part and give all I can-just not to the detriment of my own well being. If you are a born people pleaser then it might be time to re-evaluate. Sooner rather than later. I can tell you from experience it’s not pretty when you omit self care for too long. I hope this helps someone.

Questions for self evaluation:

What is important to you?

What do you value?

Who/what gives back in your life?

How can you invest in yourself a little each day?

What are your limits?

Love,

Veronica

*disclaimer*

If you know me personally – don’t take this personally!❤️

If you know me well, I think you’ll see it for what it is❤️

Family, Health, Life, Love

Passing

My grandparents have been in very poor health this year. There were several times we nearly lost them. This week we got news of grandpas passing. Only two days later grandma passed too. It was expected and it was sad but I think also it was a bit of relief as well. They had suffered much in the last few years. In one week I have lost my only two remaining grandparents.

We often note at a death how great and noble the person was. How they will be dearly missed. How things will be altered without them. This is absolutely true. I loved my grandpa. His silly ways and sharp wit. His ornery streak that he just may have passed on to a few of us. His musical ear and gift of language and love of the old country. I love it and will think of it with wistful admiration and longing.

My grandmother, for all her quirks, taught me to love the green and growing things. She was a master gardener. She was generous with gifts and hospitality. She loved to bake and tried to feed us every time we came over, even in her feeble years.

However, there is another side of death that I’d like to address. I’d like to speak for anyone who may have been hurt at their hands. Those who have endured insults and lies. Those who have been abused. We tend to overlook the bad and really, we should. I know that. But it is still right and good to liberate those that have been bound.

To those I love: you are free now. We can all move on to a more peaceful life together. We have an opportunity to start fresh as a family and love one another more dearly. In our grief may there be blessing. As we mourn May there be hope. In sorrow may love grow. My heart goes out to you all.

Again,I say be free and live well

Your loving daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend,

Veronica❤️

Get Happy!, Health, Life

Breath

Do you every have an experience that just seems to breathe new life into you? We recently had a women’s conference at church. It was refreshing and strengthening and made me think about how I live my life for God. I brought home a few of my decor items and used them at home to remind myself of the lessons learned:

1) Go after your goals in God

2) Be an example that others can look up to

3) Holiness begins with a pure heart

There was so much more that rang true for me but these three were the ones that stood out the most. This conference was nearly cancelled and I am thankful that it wasn’t! God was talking to me and I was blessed to be a part of it!

What restores your soul?

I love a good rollicking church service and zen farmhouse decor apparently 😄

Health, Life

Balance

 

 

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Enjoying time with this little life. Oh how I love my family!

I used to think that balance was the key to living harmoniously.  That by adept scheduling of must dos with periodic entertainment breaks was the key to keeping our busy lives running smoothly.  The only problem is that life never plays along with my carefully laid plans.  It is by nature feast or famine. We are overwhelmed with stimulus or we are bored. No one is around or we are swamped with people.

Can balance really help? The very word implies that we are teetering between success and failure.  If we choose option A over option B we tip the scales just a bit too far and have to scramble to regain stability.  Nah… just nah… I’m taking a different route this time.  New year, new life…whatever.  How about new vision?  New growth?  How about peace?

I want resiliency.  I want to know how to ride the waves of life and to come down with a soft landing.  I want to be held in the hollow of God’s hand and to know that He is with me through every tempest and every trial.  I don’t want to figure it all out.  I want to trust.  I want to be filled with hope and love.  I want to stand firm against any storm that I face knowing that I stand with God and not alone.

I’ve set a few goals this year and I hope you have too.

Whatever 2019 brings you don’t forget to look up!

Sincerely,

Veronica

Getting Girly, Health

No Bad Hair Days Disclaimer: *not at all farm related*

Hey everyone! I’ve been obsessing just a bit about hair lately. Healthy hair is a passion of mine and I take it quite seriously. I made a quick video to share my latest discovery. Here’s to only good hair days!

Happy Friday!

 

Sorry, there was a problem loading the video… technical difficulties! Hopefully it’s now fixed 🙂

 

Coffee, Food, Health

Adventures in Eating

Adventures in Eating

I am back on the THM (Trim Healthy Mama) wagon and very happy about it!  I have been needing to take a good long look at my eating habits for a while. I am a pig if you must know.  I have been blessed with a high metabolism but as I *ahem* mature I have noticed that it is  less speedy.  Also, sugar and gluten aren’t friendly to me- ever. I love them but they do not love me back and so I’m ending our relationship before anything drastic happens.

One of my morning go-tos is bulletproof coffee.  If you haven’t tried it you should at least once.  It’s creamy and frothy and YUM! It does require using a blender which can be an extra step that some people don’t have time for in the morning but it can hold it’s own against any fancy $5 drink and it’s GOOD for you!

This morning as I was putting the finishing touches on my coffee the blender seemed a bit off… not quite right…very bouncy and loud…

Hmmm… upon further investigation I could see nothing noticeable about the contents of my blender so I poured out my big cup of love and took a big ol’ swig.  Strange…it’s a bit chewy??? I quickly spit out a solid piece of something.  It was a chunk of black rubber.  I know I live on a farm and things can get misplaced very easily when you have 4 outbuildings each with their own belongings, not to mention 5 different people moving those items about… but really! Trying to save my cup of perfect deliciousness I grabbed a fine mesh strainer to strain out all the rubber bits.  It almost worked.  If I only looked at the beautiful frothy top I could not see the black flecks below!  But my better judgement took over and I realized that it’s probably not a good idea to drink inedible things.  Well, I guess I could always make another cup- but this time I’m writing down exact quantities so I can replicate my little cup of heaven!

 


Basic Bulletproof Coffee:

1 cup of freshly brewed coffee

1/2 tsp. coconut oil

1/2 tsp. butter

stevia to taste

sprinkle of salt

1 tsp. collagen

flavoring of your choice

blend on low for 30 seconds to 1 minute until fully emulsified and frothy

Drink up!


 

If you liked this article leave a comment below 🙂

Getting Girly, Health

Caring for Thin Hair

caring for

Hey there!  I have been working on hair health for a while and I thought I’d share a bit of what I have learned in my process of trial and error. I find so many things for natural hair or curly hair and thick hair but have been frustrated in the thin hair department.  I hope this helps someone! Also, let me know if you have any hair helps for thin hair and we can share the hair love. Have a GREAT hair day!

Here are the promised links for products mentioned:

STYLING PRODUCTS:

Aloe Vera gel- I use this one

DIY Flax Seed Gel – here is one tutorial


SHAMPOO AND DRYING:

Shea Moisture Shampoo – find them here

Norwex Hair Turban (to speed drying time and reduce heat)- find it here

Perfectly Posh Shampoo- find products here

Homemade Oatmeal and Honey Soap  – recipe found here


TREATMENTS:

DIY Hair Mask – get my Monday egg mask here

Hair Oil (to keep split ends away) – I have used this one

Cedarwood Oil (for regrowth) – I use one from Young Living found here

 

DIY, Food, Health

 Trying to Stay Healthy with Fire Cider Tea 

I had made fire cider in the past and even blogged about it. Its basically a bunch of good for you ingredients steeped in apple cider vinegar for a few weeks. It is to be used as a health tonic to build up your immunity. Instead of eating whole cloves of garlic and smelling like an italian restaurant from a mile away you drink a small amount of this and still get the benefits. The ingredients : horseradish root, ginger root, lemon juice and garlic (plus a few spices) make up my fire cider tea. Here’s where I tweaked the original recipe. Normally these ingredients will steep in the vinegar FOR.EV.ER. and I’m not patient. So I decided to can the ingredients in boiling water like a tea and see if that sped up the process. It actually worked pretty well! I’m not sure if it affects the properties of the ingredients but it still has the same firey  bite to it so I’m thinking it’s about the same. Oh, and I add the vinegar to my glass before taking it.

My main ingredients: ginger, garlic, horseradish, lemon
Chopped ingredients ready to go along with rosemary, cinnamon, cayenne pepper and lemon juice

Here lay the humble beginnings of my fire cider tea. Chopped and ready to be canned up.

Into the jar you go!
All canned up:)

After canning I gave it a few day to steep and then tried it out. It seemed just like the regular version that takes weeks so I’m pretty happy. Stay healthy!

Health

Sniffle City

 Whenever anyone is under the weather they have the right to camp on the couch and take up real estate. Leela and I are making the most of it. She has been sniffly for a while and we spent a good part morning waiting to see the doctor. Prognosis : common cold, ugh. So, here are some things that perk us up when we are under the weather.

Cold and flu favorites include:

Ricola cough drops

Essential oils -especially thieves

Fishermans friend cough drops

Hot tea with honey and lemon

7 up

Orange juice

Wasabi peas

Homemade chicken soup (that I canned earlier in the year)

Reading, sewing and stories (in between naps)

New favorites :

It’s muscle cream and it doesn’t stink!

Seems to be working…

Hope you’re staying healthy!