Kids, Random, Things I find funny

The Sillys Save the Day

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This is my dad. I learned from the master. This guy has the fine art of silliness perfected!

So my 12 y.o.  daughter has been wanting her own room for a while.  We did have a room available but the flooring was questionable. There were some soft spots so we put off housing a kid up there until we were sure it wouldn’t fall through.  Well, its holding strong and her desire for a bit of independence is ever so much stronger.  Let the switch begin!

In unearthing some of the things found stored up there I came across a short story I had written for my kids and my nieces and nephews.  I am the story-teller.  The calmer of fussy toddlers and the one given the task of regaling everyone under the age of eight at family gatherings.  It’s my gift to the world, lol.

Without further ado, I give you a tale of complete and utter nonsense.

THE SILLYS OF TOWNSVILLE

Once upon a time there was a family of Sillys.  Mr. Silly, Mrs.Silly, Sister Silly, Brother Silly and Baby Silly.  As you can imagine they were quite a silly bunch!

For breakfast the Sillys always ate a sweet dessert followed by a steak diner.  That way nobody was late to the table.  For lunch they invited all of their neighbors over for sandwiches on the rooftop. That’s because, as you may know, the every best sunshine is to be had at noon and the Sillys had no intention of missing it.  Dinner was always enjoyed while sitting snuggly around the fire. Even the Sillys didn’t know why it had to be so but Mr. Silly supposed it was the proper thing for a Silly family to do.

If you think the Sillys were strange about meals, you should see their home.  Wonderfully wacky and quite unique, it sat high up on a hilltop with a crooked stove-pipe two stories tall.  (the stove pipe, not the house) Even the windows were placed so as to appear like a smiling jack-o-lantern face to those who may have passed by at night.

In spite of, or maybe because of all their silliness the Silly family was instantly loveable. They welcomed anyone into their wild little home and always had loads of fun.  Perhaps that is why the Silly house always had company.  Even stray cats and dogs made their way to the Silly household. Sister Silly loved to leave trails of food for all kinds of creatures and as sure as cornflowers are blue, critters would find the Silly house by way of the treats.

One dark and dreary afternoon the lights flickered once, twice and then the power went out.  Mrs. Silly was just stoking the fire so she hadn’t noticed the lights go out.  The two Silly children were walking home from school and Baby Silly was napping.  The whole town was without power of lights.  As  you already know, the Sillys never used lights for the evening anyhow.  They were always huddled by the fire at that time of day.

This particular day the pound was entirely overcrowded with stray animals. Dogs, cats, iguanas, rabbits, guinea pigs and even a small donkey.  The power flickered once, then twice then darkness fell in the animal shelter.  (which really resembled a small zoo) The locks, being electric, all gave a chorus of clicks and quick  as lightning fur, feathers, yips, yowls (and a small hee-haw) erupted from the pound. Before you could say ‘shivering polecats!’ all those critters flew the coop!

The animals weren’t the only thing running amuck. The local grocery store was having it’s fair share of troubles.  Mr. Arugula had been managing the Veggie Emporium for twenty years and had never seen anything like it.  “Sizzling sour kraut!” he cried, as a store full of customers bumbled around like a food filled game of blind man’s bluff. Only they weren’t playing and they weren’t bluffing!  They were crashing carts into one another and knocking over towers of oranges and boxed crackers in the pitch black store.

After forty seven and a half nerve damaging minutes Mr. Arugula had managed to maneuver each customer out the door into the somewhat dim (and quickly darkening) evening.  Disgruntled and ungroceried they returned to their poorly lit homes to dine on leftover meatloaf and canned beets.

With the Veggie Emporium now empty Mr. Arugula began to take stock.  He stared ruefully at the freezer section where the raspberry ripple ice cream had melted into an elegant pink puddle and blended with the butterscotch truffle supreme on the floor.  It would have made a lovely paint color but under the circumstances he was not impressed.

The bakery down the road, Bozo Breads,  wasn’t doing much better. The power had gone out right in the middle of baking the mayor’s birthday cake.  I was to be the center  piece for the grand celebration as well as a feast for the opening of a new aquatic center.

Actually,  the celebration was meant for the grand opening for The House of Bellyflops but the mayor was never one to let the spotlight drift too far and claimed that it was “An honor to share my special day with the House of Flops grand opening!”

Now the cake could not be finished. The inside of the cake ran like lava while the outside was just beginning to firm up like a lovely golden sponge.  ‘”Fiddle sticks and funnel cakes!” cried the baker Mr. Baklava. “The celebration is tomorrow! Whatever can I do?”  Dismayed and disheartened he threw down his baker’s hat in disgust.

Thinking a bit of fresh air would do him some good he stepped out onto the sidewalk, the bell over the bakery door ringing behind him.  I sure wish something would ring a bell he thought as he pondered over his dilemma. Not seeing the light, Mr. Baklava walked blindly along hoping a bright idea would dawn on him.

Slowly, the downtown area began to fill with shopkeepers closing down for the day.  The butcher, fondly nicknamed ‘Captain Cleaver’ had to jumpstart his emergency generator to keep the meat in the cooler from spoiling at The Meatery. The air was thick with a dense fog and their was a gloomy overcast in the night sky.  The generator added an eerie buzz in the background.

All seemed desperately unhappy.  All that is, except the Silly children as they skipped up the walk into the front room. Mrs. Silly had the fireplace blazing merrily by then and had a bowl of hotdogs to roast for dinner.  Baby Silly with downy brown hair looked like a little bird perched merrily in his high chair.  “Gaa!”  He exclaimed, happily tossing Cheerios into the air.

As the Sillys sat down to roast weenies for their supper, there was a knock at the door. The baker, Mr. Baklava, stood on the front step looking a bit rumpled a forlorn.  Mr. Silly kindly welcomed him in for a s’more and the baker told his tale of woe.

“No problem!” exclaimed Mr. Silly.  “We will just create a new dessert! A fantastic, unbelievable and worthy of the biggest belly flop dessert!”  As Daddy Silly and Mr. Baklava sketched out a plan there came a scurrying, scuffing and pawing from outside.

Sister peeped out the window to find that most of the animals from the pound had indeed found a safe home on the Silly’s front porch.  The Silly children gathered the leftover hotdogs (and some oatmeal and lettuce) and went outside to feed the wandering critters.  Mrs. Silly called the pound and left a message to let Mrs. Woofmier know the animals were safe with the Sillys until the power outage was over.

Shortly after, there was another knock at the door.  It was Mr. Arugula from the Veggie Emporium.  He was headed home but stopped by to say hello to Mr. Silly.  He too began to share his troubles.  Soon, Mr. Silly, Mr. Baklava and Mr. Arugula locked themselves in the kitchen as “Operation Super Dessert” really began to take off.

In the morning, the sun shone brightly over the town.  Mr. Silly shone twice as bright for he had hatched a brilliant plan for the celebration of the century! The Sillys quickly got ready and hopped into the car.  They drove downtown zippity quick and parked under the statue of Townsville’s founding father; the great and honorable Mr. Good Founder.

Mr. Baklava hurriedly waved Mr. Silly over to a curtained off area.  Mr. Arugula was there too.  The whole town of Townsville turned out for the celebration.  Everyone waited with giddy expectancy as the mayor, Mr. Chatterboom, took the stage.  “People of Townsville, I would like to invite you to celebrate this very special day with me! My BIRTHDAY!”  The townspeople coughed, one or two gave a feeble clap.  The mayor continued,  “It also happens to be the opening of the..um.. what’s it?  Oh yes, the Flop House!  Wait !  No, the ah… the Aquatic Center!  To celebrate this momentous day our town baker has created a delectable dessert! I’m sure it will be just the thing to honor my …ahem, OUR special event today.” With a flourish Mr. Chatterboom waved his hand to the curtain.  Suddenly it pulled back to reveal a giant slip and slide covered in ice cream with a chocolate fountain in a pool below.

The Mayor looked quite befuddled to behold the strange sight.  The children, however, knew exactly what to do.  They dove in face first!  They were gobbling, slipping, smiling and squealing with glee!

Mr. Silly, Mr. Baklava and Mr. Arugula clapped each other no the back and shook hands as they looked on.  It was a moment the people of Townsville would never forget!

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